Goodbye, Old Friend!

Yep, I'm abandoning this here blog.

New name, new husband, new home, new everything! So I guess I gotta have a new blog too.. :P

Here it is! Follow us if you feel the desire!

jessandbenstratford.blogspot.com

Love you all!

One.

Here's how today went:

I woke up, got ready for school, and was about five minutes late to Humanities. When I sat down, Lindsey informed me that the professor had canceled the paper we were supposed to write for next week. Not postponed, canceled. As in I don't have to write it. At ALL! :D This was only the beginning of such a great day!

Psychology was awesome, as usual. We talked about memory and how to study. I love that there's four music majors in that class, so he picks us out of the crowd and compares music to psychology. It makes all the interesting stuff we learn in that class lots more interesting!

Music Theory was wonderful, as always. It was another one of those "this is why I'm a music major" classes. I love days like that.

Band was superb. Dr. Roberts was commissioned to write a piece for the centennial celebration of DSC, and he wrote the piece for the band. And we played it for the first time today. And I LOVE it!! I can't wait to get it all polished up and play it for the whole world!

And after band, I walk out the door of the Eccles with Ben, and the sun is so warm and lovely and amazing! It was just the crowning touch to a perfect morning. Ben and I started singing... "I've got sunshi-i-ine on a cloudy day.. When it's cold outside, I've got the month of May.." and then, because the word "May" was mentioned, we talked about the wedding a bit. And how close it's getting! :D And I told him what Danielle had told me just an hour earlier, that the appointment is set for us to get engagements taken! :D :D Once that's done, we can do the announcements! Ahh! Things are getting crossed of the list, and it feels so good!

And then I went to work. I was all by myself again, so I got to play my music loud and I sung to my heart's content. Until.. my side started hurting around 2pm. It was really weird. And it wouldn't go away. It kept hurting the rest of the day. It still hurts right now, but not quite as bad as before. But I wasn't gonna let a little side-ache stop me from having a wonderful day.

So.. at the basketball game, I cheered my heart out, as usual. Derek Brazeau came and played with us tonight. He is hilarious! And he's a member of the special ed section with me in Music Theory. :P Standing in between him and Ben the whole night was a blast! I laughed so hard I thought I was going to pee!

Oh! And right before the game, Josh texted me and told me to check my email, ASAP. As soon as we got everything set up for the game, I used Ben's iPod to check it. He had sent me an mp3 of the song that I want to use for the Mother-Son dance at the wedding reception. Why is this so wonderful? Because I couldn't find the song anywhere. It wasn't on iTunes, it wasn't on Amazon, nowhere. I almost cried when I saw the attachment. [:

And one more thing.. during half time of the game, Ben said to me, "It's a good thing you're walking at graduation." When I asked why, he told me two reasons. First, they're going to do the whole, "everyone sits in the gym and listens to speakers and stuff" and then the students are going to split up into their individual colleges and walk only with the other students in their discipline. So instead of having to sit in the Burns area forever, graduation will be simple and sweet, and I get to graduate with only the Fine Arts students. :D Second, there is going to be a speaker there that is incredible. I'm not going to say names, because I'm not entirely sure if it's set completely in stone, but let's just say you do NOT want to miss these commencement exercises. It's going to be INCREDIBLE.

And now I'm home, about to go shower, get ready for bed, read my temple book, and go to sleep. Today has been absolutely wonderful! :D

All Is Well [:

Okay, so life got crazy. There was a mile-long checklist that just seemed to get longer everyday. There was miscommunication among family members that caused tension. There were thousands of decisions to be made. (And you all know me.. I'm bad at making decisions) There were piles of homework and housework that loomed larger everyday. There was a point that I felt I wasn't going to make it. I wanted to skip everything about the wedding except the only thing that really matters. Being sealed in the temple. I even asked Ben if we could elope and just get married in a temple somewhere and forget about the reception and the pictures and the luncheon and the flowers and all the million other aspects of a wedding. But I was given some simple and very wise advice. "Take things one day at a time." I took this advice to heart. I wrote it on sticky notes and stuck them to the tv screen on my dresser (the tv doesn't get used anyway). So now I see that message every morning and almost every time I walk into my room. And it's helped. A lot actually. There's still a mile-long list (although we have gotten a lot done this past week), and there is still stress in my life. But it's not as bad. And I've come to realize, that no matter how bad it gets, I have a few things that can help me refocus, regain composure, and remind me that everything will be okay. Those few things are these:

1. My Heavenly Father. I can turn to him in many ways. Whether it be through scripture study, quiet thought, or pleading prayer, I can seek him out and have the Spirit with me always. I can pray for comfort and for peace anytime I need to. I can have light and the knowledge that things will work out in the end, if I only ask. [:

2. My Best Friend. Ben has been an incredible help to me. When I'm falling apart he's the glue that holds me together. When I forget to turn to the Lord, he reminds me that I always have my Father to go to for help. Ben seems to always know exactly what to do and what to say to bring a smile back to my face. Whether it be an extra long hug, a brush of my cheek, letting me soak his shoulder with tears, or a funny little remark.. he lifts my soul from the bottom of despair to the highest heights. I'm so grateful for him and for the wonderful person and friend he is to me.

3. My Music. Music calms my nerves, it lifts my spirits, and makes me dance while I clean my room. It generally just makes me happy [:

4. Exercise. It's a great stress relief, and I'm just learning the extent to which it can help me feel better, even if I can't get out of bed the next morning from soreness :P

I know that things will be alright, that I'll make it to May 21st alive, well, and happy! All I have to do is take it one day at a time. [:

Perfect? I Think So.

Life's not super crazy.. yet. But it's getting there. I think once this week is over everything is going to actually start happening, and I'll actually have to start getting stuff done. Which is super awesome, and super terrifying.

I'm so excited to get going on planning everything that has to do with a wedding, and to start having everything fall into place (crosses fingers), but I'm also terrified every time I look at the mile-long list of things that need to be decided and done by the time the big day comes. And if you know me, you'll already know that I'm horribly indecisive. Maybe all this decision making I'm doing lately will help make that indecisiveness go away.. Haha, who am I kidding, right?

I'm going up north this weekend with my soon to be in-laws. While we're in Salt Lake, we're going to go to Salt Lake's Premier Wedding Show at the Joseph Smith Memorial Building & Lion House. I was looking at the pictures from last year.. and let's just say I'm can't wait to go!! I'm so excited to go and get more ideas of how to do everything, but.. I think I'm mostly excited about the fact that we get to test-taste a lot of "wedding food" aka desserts and yummy hors d'oeuvres. :D

Today, I went and looked at a yard that might be a possible venue for the reception. And it was, no joke, perfect. Absolutely gorgeous. Majestic staircase, huge lawn, dance floor, gazebo, and pond.. complete with swans. I was practically drooling. I really REALLY hope it works out so that we can have our reception there. [:

So.. Many.. Rings!

I feel like everyone in the world is giving & receiving rings!
Here are just a few people that have gotten engaged in the past week or two..

Ben & Me
Natalie & Sam
Brandon & Britt
Lyndee & Russ
Jacki & Kade
Lacey & Tony
Mindy & Rudy
Amanda & Matt
Lachelle & Kevin
Joe & Delcie

aaanndd..
Ashley and Hayden got married a couple weeks ago,
And SaDee and BJ are going to have a baby!

Things are about to get super crazy.. haha.

Engagements & Things

(I wrote this Friday, December 24.. the night after Ben proposed)
Well, it's official boys and girls.. I'm getting MARRIED!! To the most wonderful man I've ever known (besides my dad). Last night was incredible. Ben and I went and did baptisms for the dead at the temple, and afterward we walked around the grounds for a little bit before sitting on the front steps. We started talking about the day last year when we sat in the exact same spot. Ben was waiting for his family to get to the temple so they could go do sealings for the dead, and I was just hanging out on the grounds because Danielle was at a doctor appointment at the hospital across the street. Ben texted me and amidst the small talk he told me where he was, and then I told him I was there too! So I went and found him, and we sat on those steps and talked until Danielle was done with her appointment. After we talked about that day, Ben started listing all the reasons why he loves me. He said some of the sweetest things I'd ever had anyone say to me. I told him that he was making me cry, and then he said, "Well, I'm going to make you cry some more." And then he got down on his knees in front of me and pulled a little box out of his pocket. I started going into hysterics. He opened the box and asked the question, to which I of course said "yes!" And yes, I did cry. A lot. I can't think of any better time or place to get THE ring. Both of us still overflowing with the spirit from doing baptisms, and on the steps of one of the most beautiful buildings in the world. Ben is going to be mine, for time and all eternity. And I'm so happy! When we pulled up to my apartment, Danielle called me. They were at Chili's and had locked the keys in the Yukon. I just happened to have a spare to the car, so it was Jessica to the rescue! I didn't want to leave Ben, but he needed to go home and get to bed because he's sick. So I grabbed the spare from my room, and headed over to Chili's. I got there, and my parents and Kyler and Semaya were across the parking lot at a clothes store. I met them halfway across the parking lot and we were just chatting, when someone asked me what I was going to do the rest of the night. I said I was probably going to go home and laugh and cry and scream and jump around. Haha. When I was asked why, I held up my left hand. When Danielle realized what I was showing them, she punched my arm a couple times and kept saying "oh my gosh!" and then she calmed down a little and grabbed my hand and told me that the ring was so pretty. I got lots of hugs and congratulations. [: If it's that way with my parents, I can only imagine how much attention I'll be getting the next few weeks. Haha. It seems like everyone in the whole world is getting engaged. Natalie got engaged yesterday too! And so did my friend Jacki Kimball. The funny thing, is that a couple of weeks ago Natalie and I were talking about how cool it would be if we both got engaged on the same day... and it totally happened! She texted me mid-morning yesterday telling me she got her ring! There are going to be SO MANY weddings this spring. Ben's brother Brandon is getting married in June, Natalie is getting married late May or early June, and I'm getting married May 21. It's so insane! But so super cool! My mom doesn't know yet.. I'm going up there tonight to surprise her for Christmas and to tell her and the kids about my ring.. :D And Ben and I aren't going to say anything to his family.. we're gonna see how long it takes them to figure it out :P And then, once everyone in our close family knows, we'll go public and put it on Facebook and all that jazz. This is crazy. I'm getting MARRIED!! I've always dreamed about it, but I can't believe it's happening! It's a whole different ball game now.. [:

It's December,

and I just found a ladybug. Outside. Alive. [:

Yep, That About Sums It Up.

"Patience is the ability to count down before you blast off."

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like..

Christmas!!

And I'm so excited!

I helped decorate Dad's house on Thanksgiving..
My apartment was the next victim,
And tonight it was Ben's turn to have his house overtaken by Christmas decor. [:

It was so much fun! The night started of with Ben and I making dinner. The other night, we made cheese and saved the whey. Then tonight we cooked pasta in the whey from our cheesemaking adventure, and put some of the cheese we made into the spaghetti sauce! It was super yummy! [: After dinner, it was time to decorate! Ben's brother's girlfriend Brittnae and I put up the bears and snowmen and santas on top of the piano, and the lights and the strings of beads on the tree while the boys put up tinsel in the kitchen and made milkshakes for everyone! Ben, Brittnae, and I had to be sneaky for a minute and turn the tree when nobody was looking.. so that the fullest part of the tree would be in the front. (We didn't want Brandon to see us turning it.. because he was the one who put up the tree in the first place.. haha) There was tons of conversation thrown around (mostly by Brittnae) about "next year, when Jessica and I a real part of the family" and "racing.." haha. I'm pretty sure the sudden talk about all of that came about because Lyndee (Ben's sister) is remarrying her ex-husband (he proposed to her Monday night). But who knows. :P Then we all helped put the ornaments on the tree. I love just hanging out at Ben's house. I love his family, especially his niece and nephews! [: They're so much fun to be around! Ahh... And I just love Christmastime. I love it that everyone is in the cheerful, loving, caring mood that December brings. I wish that feeling would last all year long. [:

Thank You

Well, I've been slacking on my gratitude journal lately. But.. seeing as how today is Thanksgiving.. I think it's the perfect time to catch up!

Today, I am grateful for so many things.

That my Savior loves me. He knows me personally, and has experienced all the same exact trials that I have gone through, am going through, and will go through. He was willing to sacrifice His life for me. The one thing He wants, more than anything is for us to all be together again, as brothers, sisters, and parents.

For patriarchal blessings.

That I am able to express an attitude of gratitude.

For the Holy Ghost, and the fact that I can have his comfort always, if I obey and keep the commandments.

For my dad. My dad is an incredible person. He has always been there for me.. even when I didn't want him to be. I love him so very much. And I consider myself the luckiest girl in the world because I was blessed to have him as my father, my dad, and one of my very best friends. I cannot express how much I love him in words. He means the world to me. I'm so grateful that we have the close relationship that we do, and that I can go to him whenever I need or want to. I don't think I would be the same person I am today if I didn't have him as my dad. I'm so grateful for all that he has done for me, for how much he cares about me, and how badly he wants to see me succeed.

For Danielle. To me, Danielle is not my "step-mom". Whenever I think about that title, I always imagine Cinderella's evil step-mother.. and that is definitely not who Danielle is. She is a mother to me, a best friend, a shoulder to cry on, a shopping buddy, and so many other things. I'm so very grateful that she is in my life. And I'm so glad that we have the close relationship that we do. I love it when people ask if I like my step-mom. Because my answer is always along the lines of "Yes. I love her so much.. she is one of my very best friends!" I love seeing the surprised looks on the face of the person who asked the question. I consider myself so lucky to have the kind of relationship with her that I do. I'm so grateful for all that she has done for me.. she is such a blessing in my life. And I'm so grateful that she was able to bring Kyler and Semaya into this world. I love both of them so much, and now that they're here, I can't imagine a world without them.

For my mom. My mom is my hero. She has gone through so much.. but she still stands strong. She is an amazing example of compassion and kindness to me. She rarely if ever speaks an unkind word about anyone. She is always thinking of others. She will always put her family and her children before herself. I want to be exactly like her when I grow up. Dorky-ness and all. [: I miss her so much. But I'm so grateful that I have the opportunity to see her this weekend for a few hours. :D My mom is my superhero, and I couldn't have asked to have been sent to anyone else.

For Ben. I know I've listed Ben a few times in my gratitude journal, but I really really am super thankful that he is in my life. He really brings out the best in me. He is kind, and gentle. He is funny and playful. He is talented and smart. His testimony is so strong. He loves me. For me. He didn't want me to cut my hair short, but when I did, he said he still loved me the same. That really means a lot to me.. and no, I didn't cut my hair just as a test.. haha. But I'm so grateful that he loves me inside and out. It's such a comfort to know that someone cares so genuinely for me. He only wants what's best for me, and takes care of me the best ways he knows how. And I can't thank him enough. I am so blessed.

For what little patience I have. [:

For my siblings.

For my bed.

For my friends.

For electricity.

For my hair.

For my shoes.

For my job.

For my ward.

For music.

For creativity.

For my professors.

For the gospel.

For the scriptures.

For clothes.

For sunshine.

For rain.

For snow.

For summer, winter, spring, & fall

For flowers.

For grass.

For trees.

For mountains.

For cupcakes.

For mirrors.

For my testimony.

For indoor plumbing.

For bees.

For warm blankets & hot cocoa.

For the Atonement.

For President Monson.

For the priesthood.

For holy places.

For the commandments.

For the Word of Wisdom.

For the plan of happiness.

For colors.

For sounds.

For miracles.

For family.

For mercy.

For repentance.

For personal revelation.

For sleep.

And so much more..

Go to the Corner

Last night, something happened to me that has not happened since I was little.
I got put on time-out.
By my boyfriend's sister. [:
Because I stuck my tongue out at Ben.
But don't worry, he was on time-out too.
Because he bit me. hahaha

It was actually really funny. Because Ben's niece Ella and her dad Russ were already on time-out for sticking out their tongues. So there we were.. all four of us, sitting on bar stools in the middle of the kitchen. And Lindy (Ben's sister) ran out of timers.. so we had to use a watch and Ben's phone.

Ella got done with her punishment first. (Russ would have been done at the same time, but wouldn't behave.. so Lindy had to keep adding time for him) Then I was done second. And instead of Lindy talking to me about what I had done wrong.. she had Ella do it. Cutest thing in the whole world! She asked me why I was on time-out, then if sticking out my tongue was respectful to Ben. Then she asked what I was going to do as soon as Ben got off of time out. My responses?

"I stuck out my tongue."
"No."
"Tell him I'm sorry."

And then when Ben's time was up, Ella asked him the same questions. But.. he totally denied biting me, and almost had to sit there for a little while longer. :P

All in all, it was a funny little experience.. that I don't think I'll ever forget. [:

Gratitude Journal 11/13/10

Today, I am grateful for so many things.

For change.
Today, I woke up and decided I needed a change. So I cut bangs straight across, and put pink in my hair. It's little changes like this that keep me from chopping my hair off. I'm determined to keep it long at least until the summer time.
My friend Ryan posted a picture on Facebook the other day.. it was a before and after shot of his efforts to get back in shape. All he did was exercise every day and change his eating habits. And the change is incredible! He looks so much healthier and happier. It's like he was completely transformed in just nine weeks. The change that he has made has motivated me to start working out everyday, and to eat healthier and smarter. I've been saying for the longest time that I want to tone up and get my abs back, but now it's serious. Starting Monday morning I'll be on my way to a healthier me. [:
I'm grateful that we can all change. We can all make an effort to be a better version of ourselves. Whether it's toning up your abs, being a better friend, or strengthening your testimony.. there is always something I can be doing to change myself into a better version of me. [:

Gratitude Journal 11/6/10

I'm going to change up my gratitude journal a bit, starting today. Instead of just making lists, I'm going to explain. For both my benefit (for when i look back, read, and remember) and for the benefit of those who may read these entries. [: And, in order to keep these from getting too lengthy, I'm going to let my recognition of the Lord's hand in my life, and the feelings I've had shine through in the "I'm grateful" part of the post. (Which will now be the only component.. haha)

Today, I am grateful for so many things.

For a home-cooked meal. Yesterday, I was feeling really sick. And Ben made soup for dinner. Home-made kind.. from scratch. I'm so grateful that he knows how to cook, and he likes doing it. It's hard to admit, because I'm a competitive person, but he is definitely better in the kitchen than I am. And that soup made me feel tons better [: Today, Ben and I went to my mom's house in Parowan for dinner. She made enchiladas. Granted, they were just frozen burritos with home-made salsa and cheese on top and baked in the oven, but they were sooo good! There's just something about a home-cooked meal that does something good for the body and the soul.

For sunshine. Ben and I were stretched out on the grass this morning, waiting for the tailgate party to start before the game in Cedar. It was overcast today, and kind of chilly. While we were laying there.. the sun came out and instantly warmed me up. Inside and out. [:

For my mom. She is so strong, and so incredible. I am so proud of her for the choices she has made recently. I hope that I can grow to someday be as strong as she is. I miss her. And I'm so very grateful that I had the opportunity to spend some time with her this evening. I hope that I will be able to spend more time up there.. this "once every few months" thing just isn't going to cut it. I love her too much to be away from her that long. Especially when we only live an hour away from each other.

That Ben is my best friend. I can talk to him about absolutely anything.. and feel comfortable about doing so. I'm so grateful that he cares for me, and that he wants to take care of me. (Which he does a great job of, by the way :]) He is always there for me. He helps me everyday to become a better version of myself. He might tell you that I'm ahead of him in some areas of personal growth.. but the real truth is that I'm the one who has some major catching up to do. [: Ben is an incredible person. He has such an awesome spirit about him that makes me feel at ease.. at peace. I love everything about him. I love his personality, his sense of humor, his good looks, his beautiful sparkly eyes, his testimony, and his spirit. He tries to tell me that he has flaws.. but "Love isn't having someone perfect. It's having someone imperfect, and seeing them perfectly."

Gratitude Journal 11/3/10

Today, I am grateful for so many things.
For sleep.
For "Wednesday Wonders" (Wednesday is the night that Brenna and I have a weekly adventure)
For laughter.
That Lindsey and I get along so well.
For my family.
For cute Disney movies that touch the heart.
For opera. Haha [:
To have my own room.
For making new friends.
For holding hands.

Today, I saw the hand of God in my life.
I am so blessed to have good friends. I don't know if this counts, but today I realized how lucky I am to have friends like Brenna and Ben and Lindsey and Natalie and all the others who have blessed my life. Brenna made me dinner tonight. Ben lets me hug him as long as I want, even if he has to be somewhere. Lindsey gets me. She understands me. Haha. She's the only roommate who does. :P They are all awesome.. every one of my friends are. And I'm so lucky to have them in my life! They inspire me to be a better person. [:

Today, I felt.
Rushed.
Good.
Full.
In awe.
Love!
Productive.
Accomplished.
Adventurous!
Hopeful (Lindsey..) [:
Sleepy. [:

Gratitude Journal 11/2/10

Today, I am grateful for so many things.
For stress relief.
For a sense of accomplishment.
For criticism.
For hugs.
For Brenna.
For dinner at Ben's.
For playtime. [:
For music.
For avocados! {:
For a clean room.
For clean laundry.
For caramel caribou ice cream.
For erasers.
For my dad :D

Today, I saw the hand of God in my life.
Sometimes, I think Heavenly Father likes to play little jokes on us.. to see how we react. [: Today, I got up early enough to have breakfast. And I even had time to make a sandwich to take with me, so I could eat lunch when I ran to work after class. (I usually don't get lunch) So, I thought I was super cool, and felt really good about the whole getting up early thing. But when I got to school this morning, I saw a sign posted on the door that said, "Dr. Roberts is sick today, class is canceled." (Or something to that effect) So, I had a whole extra hour, in which I now had nothing I needed to do. But I'm so glad I had that hour, because I spent it talking and laughing with my good friend Derek Baker. It was a lot of fun getting to sit out in the lobby on the awesome big red couches and just talk and listen to music and eat my lunch. It was an opportunity to slow down, to enjoy. I wasn't rushing. [: And I'm so grateful.

Today, I felt.
Accomplished.
Surprised.
Relaxed. [:
Small.
Loved.
Happy. [:
Full.
Playful.
Wonder.
Adoration.
Comforted.
Butterflies.
Love!

Gratitude Journal 11/1/10

Today, I am grateful for so many things.
For compliments.
For hats.
For warm blankets.
For understanding.
For Ben.
For roommates.
For prayer.
For holding hands.
For hugs.
For butterflies!
For silliness.
For laughter.
For Danielle.
Today Ben went to 25 Main for lunch. And brought me back a cupcake. [: I'm grateful for him, for the gesture, and for the cupcake. (It was chocolate peanut butter) Haha :D

Today, I saw the hand of God in my life.
I already wrote about the experience today, but that man in the parking lot and his simple phrase really hit me. If he hadn't said anything to me, I would have continued on in my hurried attitude all day. And then I probably wouldn't have stood behind this cute old lady in a wheelchair at Wal-Mart this evening. Her basket was overflowing, and the cashier wasn't the quickest. But I was in no hurry. So I waited. Only a few minutes after standing there, the lady in front of me dropped a box of pancake mix on the floor. She couldn't reach it. So I picked it up for her. She seemed so thankful for just the smallest act of charity. And I was so glad to perform it for her. Sometimes it's the small things that really touch your heart, and make your whole day. [:

Today, I felt.
Relief.
Hurried.
The spirit.
Late.
Friendship.
Sneaky. [:
Appreciative.
Cared for.
Spoiled.
Patient.
Happy.
Love.
Butterflies.
Loved.

Words of Wisdom

Today, when I was walking through the parking lot into the office building where I work, this man said to me, "You don't have to rush." I didn't think I was rushing at all.. But maybe I was. As I watched him, he walked slowly, with a hard limp. As I thought about what he said to me, that simple phrase started to take on so many different meanings.

I don't have to rush to work.
I don't have to rush to school.
I don't have to rush in making a decision.
I don't have to rush in planning events.
I don't have to rush in doing my homework.
I don't have to rush through the grocery store.
I don't have to rush through my prayers.
I don't have to rush through reading my scriptures.

I can slow down.
I can enjoy.
I can appreciate.

Gratitude Journal 10/31/10

Today, I am grateful for so many things.
For prayer.
That I have a best friend who I can confide in.. who I can tell anything to. [:
That I have someone who loves me for me.
For Sundays.
For warm blankets.
For stars.
For music.
That I am loved.

Today, I saw the hand of God in my life.
This morning during my prayers, I was prompted to ask a certain question. So I did. I had no intention of asking this question when I woke up this morning, so the prompting came as a bit of a surprise. But I asked, and I am so very grateful that I did. I didn't get an answer right away, but as the day went on my mind kept going back to the question that I had asked. And at one point, I received an answer. And it felt sooo wonderful! The spirit that I felt was so powerful that it almost brought me to tears. [:

Today, I felt.
The spirit.
Remorse.
Comfort.
Gratitude.
Peace.
Anguish, Sorrow.
Joy, Gratitude.
The spirit!
Love.
Lucky.
Contentment.
Sorrow.
Forgiveness.
Love.
Wonder.
Peace.

Gratitude Journal 10/30/10

Today, I am grateful for so many things.
For the gospel.
For friends who truly care for me.
For missionaries.
For people who accept the gospel and become members of the church. I'm grateful for their testimonies.
For my testimony.
For eyebrows, and the fact that I have more than three hairs on my head.
For the knowledge that I don't have to search the world over to find my "perfect match".. the one I'm "destined" to be with.
For my parents.
For love.
That I can go a month without having to put gas in my car.
For personal revelation.
For the Plan of Happiness.
For family.
... for the Atonement.
That I can see.
That I can choose to be happy!

Today, I saw the hand of God in my life.
The classes I was prompted to go to.. were exactly what I needed to hear. I felt that each of the speakers were talking directly to me.. that they had prepared their whole presentation for my benefit and no one else's. The YSA Conference is exactly where I needed to be today. I woke up this morning and thought.. "I could just not show up. I could sleep in. I could use the day to clean my room, or do the dishes." But I got up, and I went. After lunch, I thought to myself "I could go home.. I don't have to stay." But I'm so glad that I was prompted to stay. I would have cheated myself if I had left early. I also thought "I wish Ben were here. I wish he could experience what I'm experiencing." (He had work) But.. if he had been there, would I have gone to the classes that I did? Would I have heard the messages that I really needed? My Heavenly Father was guiding every step I took today, and I realize that. And I'm thankful for it.

Today, I felt.
Anger.
The spirit.
Joy.
Sorrow.
Remorse.
The love of my Savior and my Heavenly Father.
The spirit.
Complete.
Annoyance.
Embarrassment.
Confidence.
Happiness.
Determination.
Sunshine.
Love.

YSA Conference "nevertheless at thy word I will.."

Today was amazing. Today, I've felt the best I have in a while. Every single class I went to today.. I felt was geared right at me. Like the speaker had prepared their talk for me, and me alone. It was exactly what I needed to hear. A couple of the classes that I attended weren't the ones that I have picked to go to initially. But I'm so glad that I went to the ones I did. There was laughter, there were tears, there were smiles, and there was the spirit. So strong. I love this gospel. I love everything about it. It is the truth. I can't even pretend to think that it's not. I know that this is the true gospel. That I am exactly where I'm supposed to be in my life right now. And I'm so grateful for that knowledge.

I'm posting the notes that I took during the conference today, because I feel I need to.

But before I do that, I'd like to share a couple of things that I'm going to start doing. Today.

1. I'm going to keep a gratitude journal. I'm going to write in it every day. (I might post it on here, I haven't decided yet.) I'm going to try to recognize the hand of the Lord every day in my life.

2. I'm going to get more familiar with the scriptures. In one of our classes, we were asked "How many times have you watched your favorite movie? Six? Twelve? More?" Why do we keep going back to our favorite movie? I think it's because it touches us, it strikes a chord in our hearts. And we want to come to know it the best we can so that we can better understand it. Then, we were asked this question: "How many times have you read the scriptures? One? Six? Twelve? More?" We should become just as familiar with the scriptures as we are with our favorite movie. Or book. Or song. The more we read the words of the Lord, the more we will become familiar with them and come to appreciate them and understand them. They will strike a chord in our hearts, over and over again.

3. I will remember the story of Bailey, and the first time she saw the Savior, every Sunday during the Sacrament.

4. I will become the type of person who I would want to be with for eternity. I will prepare to be someone else's best friend.

5. I will grow my relationship with my Heavenly Father by:
a. Reading. Studying. Knowing my scriptures.
b. I will pray, instead of "saying my prayers." I will hold on the line
and wait for a response, instead of dialing, calling out "hello?" and
hanging up.
c. Keep my attitude positive. You don't have to be sad. You can choose to
cheerful! "Misery is optional."
d. Practice listening to the Holy Spirit's promptings. "The spirit
transforms us to have the strength to do what we need to.

6. I will remember that my savior prays for me. That he wants the same kind of relationship with me that he has with our Father in Heaven.

7. I will never, ever let the adversary convince me of the lie that my Heavenly Father doesn't love me.

:D

And now for the notes. [: